merry christmas my little darling, grandad loved his snowman present off you,he had a little cry but thats just because he loves you so very much,mommy missed you so much today but have to be strong so i dont upset nanny and grandad cause they dont like it when i cry,we had dinner at aunty lisas new house (were you there with me my jakey?)i hope so",we are going up from his dads in the morning (you can come too if you like) your with me every step in my life,in my heart my soul and my mind,i cant tell you how much pain has been inside me since that night you left me forever,i cant put into words how much and how deeply i love you,i know i cry alot but baby boy there is a burning love for you in every tear that falls from my eyes,i can physicaly feel the brake in my heart and i dont know what to do,all i can say jakey is that i would give or would do anything in the world to have you back here with me,but i know in my heart that it could never happen,so all i can say sweetheart is night night godbless and mommy will be with you one day and i will hold you tight and never let you go xxxx mommy loves you forever darling xxxx